Article Summary:
The three Bs of building relationships are Be Yourself, Be a Giver, and Be Knowledgeable.
Building relationships starts with knowing why you want to build them and who you want to build them with. What do you hope to gain from the relationship? Once you've identified these things, you can get started. While having a plan for meeting people is a good idea, the only plan you need to start the building process is to remember the 3 Bs. Too many people get caught up in the details and the worries and shift their focus. It's not your job to convince or persuade. And pushing too hard doesn't work. It's simply good enough to be out there, be knowledgeable, and be giving. If you remember - just be - you will always be on track to build lasting relationships.
1. Be yourself.
It takes less effort to be yourself than it does to create a persona. Besides, people can see the mask a hundred miles away. Their guard will be up before you realize it. Why? Because your focus is off. It's on you (or I should say, on your creation of you) - not on them.
The 'you' who you really are is the one that will resonate with people. And aren't you a great you?! You're the best you there is! No one is a better you than you! So, do yourself a favor and embrace your genuine self.
2. Be a giver.
a) Don't focus on what you want to get. Focus on what you can give.
"What goes around, comes around."
"The smile you send out returns to you." Sound familiar?
b) Listen.
Learn all you can about the person you are interacting with. Find out if there are ways you can help them; have a positive impact on their day.
c) Giving can be direct or indirect. It may be something you can give or it may be the case that you can direct the person to someone else who has a solution for them.
3. Be knowledgeable.
Know what you are talking about and state it simply. Don't try to wow someone with your vast knowledge. Once you've listened and learned, you are in a better position to share from your knowledge base and experience. What you have to say will resonate with others.
Sometimes that knowledge is having resources to offer - other people or companies who know and do things you don't. This is the indirect giving.
Know what you know; own what you don't know. Listen with interest and be respectful. Above all else, be yourself. The best relationships are those between people who share common interests, respect each other and are genuine. Keep it simple and you'll find it easy to build lasting relationships.
Diane Helbig is a Professional Coach and the president of Seize This Day Coaching. Diane works with salespeople, small business owners, and entrepreneurs, helping them realize success as they define it. Diane is also the Co-Founder of Seize True Success, a coaching practice dedicated to working with franchisees. Diane is a Contributing Editor on COSE Mindspring, a resource website for small business owners, as well as a member of the Sales Experts Panel at The Top Sales Experts. To learn more or schedule a complimentary discovery session, visit Seize This Day Coaching.
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