Tonja Weimer

Article Summary:

How to networking with family and friends to find a great date.

How To Find A Date

Do you know how to find great dates? Would you like to learn the secret to having an interesting, successful, and rich dating life?

The key to your success is to network. You want to learn how to turn family, friends, and acquaintances into your scouts.

American Demographics did an online poll a few years ago of 1500 people. They asked them how they met their current love. Sixty-five percent said they met through family and friends.

Do you feel too embarrassed to ask people to scout for you? Turn that balky energy into determination and think of this as your great adventure. Here are seven steps to a successful dating life. This is how you encourage and support people to help you find dates, and eventually, those dates will lead you to the perfect mate.

The seven steps are:

1. List all of the people you know.
Write down the name of everyone you can think of. Don't forget your own brothers and sisters. You may find dates from the unlikeliest of people, so don't leave anyone out. I have had clients be fixed up by everyone from their siblings to their real estate agent.

2. Pick the top ten people on the list who would be the most likely to help you.
Prioritize your list. Arrange to take each person on your top ten list to coffee or lunch. Tell them that you are ready to meet someone. Do not get too specific about age or height or figure. Just tell them that you want to meet someone great. You won't know until you meet the person face-to-face if the chemistry is there or not, so stay open to possibilities. When you are flexible, you are much more likely to be introduced to someone. I tell people to follow the ten-ten rule: anyone ten years younger or ten years older is a possibility, and you can stretch beyond that age limitation if you feel daring.

3. ASK people to help you look for someone.
Believe it or not, people need to be asked. Not everyone will help, but sooner or later, someone will. And even though you think everyone knows that you want to meet someone...you still have to ask them to help you.

4. Check back with your top ten list.
People get busy and caught up in their own lives. They need to be reminded of your request. Call them back in four to six weeks. You never know when someone will meet a potential date for you on an airplane or in a barber shop or at the beach.

5. Repeat the process with your next top ten list.
Find the next ten people on your list and plan to meet them. (Yes, you are going to be very busy!) Repeat your process. By now, you are probably getting pretty good at telling people that you would like to meet someone. This is not beneath you. This is being smart. And whenever you are talking with people at a party or at work or in church, if you get the opportunity, tell them too. When you finish with your second list, move on to the rest of the people you know.

6. Give THANKS to everyone who sends you a date.
Even if you have a date that is less than spectacular, be sure and thank the person who went to the effort to set you up. If they fixed you up once with someone, they have the talent to do it again. But they must be thanked with a card or flowers or both.

7. Keep a winning attitude.
Dating can get discouraging when you get your hopes up and it doesn't turn out the way you thought it might. In each instance, just stand back, keep good boundaries, and look for what you can learn. One thing you might notice is that you are learning how to handle yourself with lots of different people. This can take the desperation out of dating, which will make you even more attractive.

Are you ready for a full dating life? Find your scouts. People want to help you, they want you to be happy, and most of all...your mate is waiting for you.

Tonja Weimer M.A., is a Master Certified Singles Coach from the Relationship Coaching Institute, and a Certified Coach from the International Coaching Federation. She specializes in helping single adults with career, relationship, and dating issues and has an extrordinary success rate. A syndicated newspaper columnist,her weekly column "Savvy Dating" is read in the US by some 2 million readers. For more information, visit www.tonjaweimer.com

Read all advice by Tonja Weimer; Find more Dating experts

More advice on Dating
» Dating Body Language
» How to Mingle
» all Dating articles