Susan Dunn

Article Summary:

10 important questions to answer about your partner's emotional intelligence before marriage!

Marriage and Emotional Intelligence - 10 Questions to Answer Before You Marry

1. Is it just sexual attraction?
Sexual attraction comes from the reptilian brain and is automatic and powerful because it relates to our survival. It's not always a basis for living with someone happily. Don't let it "hijack" you. Find out what else is there.

2. Do they like to touch and be touched?
This is important to your mental and physical health.

3. Do they look at your with affection and kindness?
Most communication is nonverbal.

4. Have you used your thinking brain?
EQ means using all 3 brains. Are you compatible in your daily habits? You'll be keeping house together. Do you have the same values and priorities?

5. Does he or she have emotional self-awareness? How are they at empathy?
One of the most predictive traits for compatibility is if you can sense the other's sadness.

6. How optimistic is this person ?
Optimism is the facilitator of all the EQ competencies. In addition, optimists live longer, enjoy better health, and accomplish more.

7. Are they intentional?
Intentionality, a high-level EQ competency, is saying what you mean and meaning what you say. Also being accountable for the motives behind your actions. If you have commitment to the relationship, i.e., nobody's going to go away, you'll work through problems differently.

8. How resilient are they?
How do they manage adverse events and setbacks? Have they been able to grow through adversity, not just go through it?

9. How do you and your partner manage anger?
Successful couples soothe one another instead of agitating and escalating.

10. How balanced is their life?
Resilient people combine learning, work and leisure throughout their lifetime.

Susan Dunn, MA, of The EQ Coach, offers coaching, Internet courses and ebooks for your personal and professional success. She is founder of the EQ Alive! coach certification program, which has no residency requirement and trains coaches internationally. For a free ezine, email sdunn@susandunn.cc.

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