Article Summary:Reasons why a private investigator should be hired if you suspect your husband or wife is cheating.
If you suspect your spouse is cheating, and you want to go to court, it is simply not a good idea to collect the evidence yourself and try do it on your own. You need professional help to get you rock-solid evidence for court. In other words, you need hire a private investigator.
Winning custody today is very difficult. A courtroom is no place for the weak at heart, nor for a poor planner. Will you fail to plan? If so, plan to fail. A private investigator can offer a real solution to strategy for winning.
Discovering an affair in your relationship is hard enough, but that's just the beginning of what you will face. A family court ruling will be rendered either for or against you and your children. A judge will decide for you based on the evidence, who is the best custodial parent. If your state considers infidelity grounds for divorce, proof is essential! If you are party to a legal action, your observations, discoveries, and testimony are already tainted with bias.
Here are five key reasons why you should hire an investigator;
1. Time is of the essence.
Depending on the length of an affair, your spouse may end it without ample opportunity for you to document it. On average affairs last six months to a year and then end without your knowledge. However, in some cases, your spouse will divorce you for the mistress. Waiting to prove your case may be too late. Don't let the opportunity escape you.
2. Satisfy your "Need to Know."
Over three decades my agencies have worked for countless clients who spanned the US. More than half of these clients had a "need to know." Finding out the extent of an affair, the identity of the mistress/paramour is indispensable. If you feel a gripping urgency to gratify this need, recognize you share in the feelings with a vast number of others.
3. You should not witness the affair yourself.
In one case a client insisted on witnessing her husband activities. I discouraged her. We placed him under surveillance for a "nooner"--a lunchtime rendezvous. It was a successful surveillance with an unexpected twist. The subject united with his mistress as we anticipated. They choose a remote parking area in front of a river bank on a dead end street. This was a favorite hangout for teenagers surrounded by woods and plenty of cover from public view. We shadowed them successfully. The hood of his vehicle served their desires and clandestine behavior.
Roughly fifteen minutes passed and a female emerged from the nearby woods. She moved toward us. We were concerned she would blow our cover. To our shock, it was our client! She was so compelled to witness the affair for herself that she walked through heavy woods and brush to do so.
Auspiciously for us and her spouse, no confrontation ensued. If it weren't so heartbreaking, the episode would be humorous. Her garb was utterly out of place. A full-length white dress was the wrong attire for the woods. It seemed she never realized her mistake. Take my advice, please leave investigations to professionals.
4. Professional Testimony frequently prevails!
Finding yourself seated in a courtroom with two opposing attorneys, court employees, is the wrong time to realize how unprepared you are for day. You will need testimony from others. Friends can offer some degree of support for your case. They may hold up under cross examination. But if your witness list only includes family and friends, be prepared for a frightful revelation. Even though they are trustworthy, try convincing a court system. You are fighting a losing battle. Their innate bias and testimony bear little weight in the final assessment.
Are you confident your witnesses' testimony will have credibility? Do they possess the experience you need? After all, you have one chance in most family courtrooms. What if your witness is caught in a lie? You're finished! A judge will rule against you for bringing in someone who is not forthright.
Court testimony is enormously helpful; it often decides legal cases. My testimony has always made a positive difference. If your investigator obtains evidence for your case, use it to your family's advantage. Your kids may just have to visit as an alternative to dwelling with you.
5. Your emotions could get you thrown in jail.
Domestic investigations always bring concern for private investigative agencies. One notable case resulted in vehicular homicide. The Clara Harris asked her hired PI for the rendezvous site. She arrived in a rage and killed her spouse with her vehicle.
Clearly, when an investigation is warranted hire a professional and keep your distance. If you conduct your own surveillance, be prepared to defend yourself against a stalking charge. Keep your distance and your head!
Bill Mitchell, Seven-Day Detective, is an internationally renowned author who is recognized for his practical, solution-based investigative strategies to marriages facing infidelity. As a recognized expert on infidelity and child custody, Bill Mitchell appears regularly as a guest expert on TV and national talk shows including Dr. Phil, Today Show, and The Early Show. He has been interviewed by numerous publications including Chicago Tribune, Esquire, Ladies Home Journal Online, and PI Magazine. Bill's book The More You Know: Getting the Evidence and Support You Need to Investigate a Troubled Relationship provides a revealing questionnaire that will tell you where you stand in your relationship.