Building Bridges

Issue # 1 of 43 

David LeClaire
By: David LeClaire

Cyber-Sex Is Rampant - And Bringing Big Changes

Part 1: Have You Lost Your Cyber-Virginity?

Traditional affairs were simple. They usually began with an actual meeting in which 2 people found themselves sexually attracted to each other. Whether they became physically involved at that time or at some later date, their affair was typically ignited by the presence and energy of this other person, eventually materializing into a hot, passionate encounter in the flesh. Sometimes people were willing to risk everything, including their jobs, marriage, financial security, even their health. Well, that's all about to change with the onset of the "computer revolution."

The computer has made "sex-less affairs" more possible, and intriguing, than ever before. That's right, sex-less affairs. This new era in intimacy is frequently referred to as cyber-sex, the on-line equivalent of phone sex. Not only will the computer change how we do business, but how we live out fantasies and achieve sexual gratification. This new way of communicating is already beginning to change the face of sexual misconduct forever.

Granted, the first forms of on-line cyber sex are still relatively primitive at the moment. With the advent of IM or real-time email, it's possible to have a dialog or chat with someone almost anywhere on the planet. This marvelous development is not only the next best thing to being there, but in some cases, better than being there. And when it comes to experiencing cyber-sex, it gives the people on both end a feeling of reality since their conversation is "live."

Basically, what typically happens is two people, who have established some sort of common interest in each other electronically, eventually find themselves "attracted" to their cyber friend, even though in some cases they have never seen what each other looks like. Their sex-less affair may start with some simple flirting and leading statements to see if their cyber-friend feels the same way. If all signs seem to point in the right direction and there is some sort of reciprocation, a playful dialogue ensues with some suggestive, steamy discussion.

Non-computer users may have a hard time understanding the intrigue and excitement since they see this as a rather flat, one dimensional experience. But those that have lost their cyber-virginity will tell you otherwise. Of course, not everyone on-line has cyber-sex., and not everyone who has will have cyber-sex with you. It's somewhat similar to real life in the sense that with most people a sort of relationship development must occur before you can go to that level with them. (unless of course it's a paid for service or a chat room designated for this type of interaction.)

David LeClaire has spent much of his time teaching at community college and private school, and lead communications training for Fortune 500 companies. Now a popular and active Seattle area sommelier, this graduate of Central Michigan University led seminars for a wide variety of organizations. LeClaire is the author of "Bridges To A Passionate Partnership." He can be reached at

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Text © 1998, David LeClaire. Part of the original Sideroad.
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