Building Bridges

Issue # 24 of 43 

David LeClaire
By: David LeClaire

Sex and Halloween

Well, Halloween is upon us again, and time to start thinking about what you will do for this crazy holiday. What did you do last year? Is it getting hard to come up with something new? What do you think motivates you to be something in particular?

If you are like most people, you dress up to get a reaction. But what is the reaction you seek? Some like to be thought of as imaginative, others as funny, some as clever. But you may be surprised to know that the majority want to be seen as attractive, maybe even sexy, on this night that is supposed to be filled with ghouls, goblins, and other "scary" characters.

Batman, Tarzan, and Elvis are all sexy in their own way. And Catwoman, Zena, and Elvira all possess a certain sultryness as well. Halloween gives people who are normally restrained a chance to let loose a little, to get wacky, silly, naughty, suggestive, or even sleezy without judgement. It's just a character, and it's only Halloween after all.

Especially in America, the land of the free, there is a definite excess of sex in the world around us, while at the same time a certain conservative attitude which is anything but what it was in the 60's. We are liberal yet uptight. My theory is that most people think liberally when it comes to their thoughts and fantasies, yet act as they "should" to be a good citizen, employee, partner, Christian, or what have you. Inside they long to be a little more wild and unrestrained, but they know better and act accordingly.

Ahh, thankfully, there is Halloween. The one day a year that almost anything goes. Of course some people abstain from the whole ordeal of that day, but make no mistake about it, many others will exercise their yearly chance to live out fantasies, to be as sexy or silly as they want to be. It's a good thing I feel - a day of release from the typical seriousness of our lives.

But when you go out this year, that is if you do, take note of how many people have created their personal version of something that makes them look good, that flatters them and makes them just a little more enticing than they normally would feel comfortable with. Is it wierd? Maybe just a tad. Is it normal? I think so.

Deep down we all want to be desired, to be seen as sexy and attractive. At least for most of our lives. Why deny it? I say be open and embrace it, use the excuse to have fun with it!

The next day after Halloween is November 1st, which to me officially marks the end of fall and the beginning of winter. Time to stay at home, get cozy with the one you love, and nest for a few months. Why not make the last day of fall a memorable one?

Don't discourage your partner from doing something "on the edge." If anything, maybe giving them permission will light your fire a little too. C'mon, live a little.Don't get old and stodgy before your time. Keep that spark that drew you to each other in the 1st place by staying fun and playful. And for heavens sake, don't dress up as anything too hideous, it could have a lasting impression on your partner.

Time to start helping my wife with our plans for our party.
Happy Halloween!

David LeClaire has spent much of his time teaching at community college and private school, and lead communications training for Fortune 500 companies. Now a popular and active Seattle area sommelier, this graduate of Central Michigan University led seminars for a wide variety of organizations. LeClaire is the author of "Bridges To A Passionate Partnership." He can be reached at

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Text © 1998, David LeClaire. Part of the original Sideroad.
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