Tip #17 - February 8, 1999

About the Author:

Tips in Leading the Seamless Life™
#17 - The UnGraceful "Yes"

Today we'll ask you to reflect on the value of the use of your time and how you control your life through your use of "yes" and "no." We've asked you to acquire the capacity to use "The Graceful No" over the past few weeks.

It's as important to learn to avoid the use of an UnGraceful "Yes" as it is to give yourself the gift of acquiring the art of The Graceful "No."

A story for your reflection:

An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer-contractor of his plans to leave the house building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife enjoying his extended family. He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to retire. They could get by. The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end his career.

When the carpenter finished his work and the builder came to inspect the house, the contractor handed the front-door key to the carpenter. "This is your house," he said, "my gift to you."

What a shock! What a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently. Now he had to live in the home he had built none too well. So it is with us. We build our lives in a distracted way, reacting rather than acting, willing to put up less than the best. At important points we do not give the job our best effort. Then with a shock we look at the situation we have created and find that we are now living in the house we have built. If we had realized, we would have done it differently.

About the Author:

Diane Menendez, Ph.D., M.C.C., business and life coach, has been a full-time professional coach since 1988. She's coached 350+ executive and professional clients to achieve their goals and, in the process, to create work and lives which are richly satisfying.

Diane's domain name, www.HeartDance.com, is an expression of her belief that, "Your work supports you to thrive when it brings you rich financial rewards and great joy." Yes, that's what she means -- real joy, enough to make your heart dance.

Contact Diane for a complimentary coaching session to help you discover your brilliance.

Contact info:
HeartDance, Cincinnati, Ohio USA
Ph: (513)474-1137
1(800)882-9383

Email: diane@heartdance.com
Web Site:
www.heartdance.com

Think of yourself as the carpenter. Think about your house. Each day you hammer a nail, place a board, or erect a wall. Build wisely. It is the only life you will ever build. Even if you live it for only one day more, that day deserves to be lived graciously and with dignity.

The plaque on the wall says,

Life is a do-it-yourself project.

Who could say it more clearly? Your life today is the result of your attitudes and choices in the past. Your life tomorrow will be the result of your attitudes and the choices you make today.

       - Author unknown

If we think of every "Yes" we deliver is a commitment to Self, both in the present and in the future, then our personal "yeses" could become one of our most important investments.

Benefit: When we are as thoughtful with our "yeses" as we are with our "no's" - everyone is served.