The SeamLess Life

Tip #18 - February 15, 1999

About the Author:

Sherry Lowry, MA/MS, M.C.C., is a professional mentor and business coach for executives, business owners, other coaches, psychologists/ therapists, and professionals in transition. She has developed seven businesses, including one non-profit with 20,000 clients. Sherry leads group telephone conferences and trainings with other field experts on marketing with heart, using public speaking in marketing, and for therapists transitioning as coaches. A board member on the International Coach Federation, Sherry is credentialed at their Master Certifed Coach level and participates in the Professional Coaches’ and Mentor’s Association.

Contact Sherry for a complimentary session on The SeamLess Life™ approach or for information on coaching and professional mentoring.

Contact info:
Sherry Lowry, MCC
Austin, Texas USA
Ph: 512-527-0097

Web Site:


Tips in Leading the Seamless Life™
#18 - When "Yes" Is "No" and "No" is "Yes"

Over the past few weeks we've confirmed for many that if you don't believe you can elegantly say, "No," you may not say it at all.

However, we're not sure you're clear of the expense of this. The reality may be that every time we say "Yes," we've already said "No" to something - and, if so, we have a lifetime of practice. When you say any "Yes," that means implicitly your time and energy are not as readily available for other options you could choose.

When you say "Yes" to creating a new product or service as a business owner, you could simultaneously be saying "No" (for example) to any one of the following:

  • increased family time
  • more staff attention
  • higher quality personal time
  • a shorter workday
  • Saturday's off
  • improving current products/services

The reciprocal is also true. When you say, "No," or "Not yet" to anything, you're saying, "Yes" to other possibilities you've prioritized. By saying "No" to taking on a demanding new client who needs you on weekends, you may be saying "Yes" to your garden, attending your child's soccer games, special outings with your family, volunteering at the hospital, developing excellence for other clients, or leisurely lolling.

Here's an invitation to crystalline clarity - offered with credit and thanks to our colleagues at Coach Training Institute, Laura Whitworth, et al, (authors of Co-Active Coaching - New Skills for Coaching People Toward Success in Work and Life, © 1998, Davies-Black Publishing) for the generous "loaning" of their exercise documented here.

Map your exchanges (below) and get clear about what your own life exchanges are really all about. In Column #1 write in the "Yeses" and "Noes" you've taken stands for in the past two weeks. In Column #2, write down what this may have meant, in your personal case, that you've committed to or exchanged.

About the Author:

Diane Menendez, Ph.D., M.C.C., business and life coach, has been a full-time professional coach since 1988. She's coached 350+ executive and professional clients to achieve their goals and, in the process, to create work and lives which are richly satisfying.

Diane's domain name,, is an expression of her belief that, "Your work supports you to thrive when it brings you rich financial rewards and great joy." Yes, that's what she means -- real joy, enough to make your heart dance.

Contact Diane for a complimentary coaching session to help you discover your brilliance.

Contact info:
HeartDance, Cincinnati, Ohio USA
Ph: (513)474-1137

Web Site:

You may type directly in the boxes below then print for your convenience - no information will be sent electronically.

Saying Yes - Saying No
© 1998 Davies-Black Publishing (Laura Whitworth et al); Co-Active Coaching

By Saying "Yes" to: I Am Saying "No" to:

By Saying "No" to: I Am Saying "Yes" to:

Give yourself a new measure of clarity by now writing down a synopsis of the significance of your exchanges for your life for the next month, quarter and year as a result.


Tip #19

A Story of Saying "Yes" To Profitability and Helpful Boundaries

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Text © Diane Menendez & Sherry Lowry, 1998, 1999. Part of the original Sideroad.
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