The SeamLess Life

Tip #4 - June 29, 1998

About the Author:

Sherry Lowry is a Austin-based business coach who works nationally and internationally with executives, managers, business owners, other coaches, psychologists and therapists. She brings experience to her clients as a founder and developer of 7 businesses, including one non-profit organization, as a consultant and trainer, and professional mentor. Co-leading group telecalls (via regular telephone connection) and telegroup series is a speciality....with other field experts on corporate marketing, using public speaking as a marketing tool, marketing with heart, and offers with Diane Menendez special teleclasses for mental health professionals transitioning as coaches. In 1996, Sherry founded and continues to host The Coaches’ Showcase, a free theme-based telegroup exchange with some of the industry’s most experienced coaches. Also useful is her online collection of The Lowry Notes - free to the public at her WWW site. She holds two traditional graduate degrees and has completed the Coach University curriculum. She is on the Board of International Coach Federation and is a member of Professional Coaches’ and Mentor’s Association and Texas Executive Women.

Contact info:
Sherry Lowry, MCC
Austin, Texas, USA
Ph: 512-527-0097
Web site:


Tips in Leading the Seamless Life™
#4 - Meeting Your Needs

The SeamLess Life™ approach to life is one that will add meaningfulness to your every day. The tip for the week to help you in your SeamLess Life™ quest is both a recap and a set of suggestions.

A Need (such as for security, power, achievement or affiliation) -- when fully met in life -- tends to set you free to be your best or do your best. A Value -- when fully honored or lived through and expressed -- will help you become increasingly creative and give you immense satisfaction and well-being.

Identify your Needs as basic needs or growth needs, as Abraham Maslow, the transformational psychologist, thought of them. Needs are something you usually tend to meet by striving to gain something externally or by measuring where you are vs how you want to be. You learn more about Needs by comparing or noticing how you are doing in life against something outside you. This usually also is outside your own complete control.

For example, you may measure your Need for approval by how often you are complimented or acknowledged publicly. When that happens often enough, your "approval Need" is filled sometimes even to capacity. At that point, it may not be a Need at all for now. When it's filled for good your self-esteem is sufficiently strong. That's when you are able to put the things in place in your life to keep this particular Need from beginning to 'scream' and demand again - possibly forever.

Maslow believed once a Need was at least 60% met it would set you free, so to speak. Once this happens you could become interested in meeting a higher order need. It's at this point The SeamLess Life™ begins to possibly gain your interest as your Values begin to draw your attention.

Once you have secure shelter, enough food and a stable income, you may meet your Need to be more responsible by taking a time-management class. That leads you to develop the new habit of spending time with a calendar/organizer ten minutes each morning -- which helps keep your need to be responsible met day in and day out. Though it may be a good idea, that's probably NOT how you would prioritize starting every day when you are out of work, can't pay your rent this month and are hungry.

Needs are something that will tend to drive you until you understand and drive and direct them. This is when you set up ways in your life to meet them more effortlessly and less expensively. A helpful practice in your weekly review of how your life is going is to ask yourself this question about each of the Needs you have identified:

"Is the way I'm striving to fully meet this Need the easiest way, the most useful way for me?"

About the Author:

Diane Menendez, Ph.D., is a business and personal success coach. She has been coaching since 1983 when she began the High Performance Coaching process as an internal staff coach at AT&T. Since 1988 she has coached more than 250 business executives in Fortune 100 companies and has provided leadership for company-wide efforts in executive and leadership development. Menendez’s special niche in executive coaching is providing support to leaders of rapidly changing industries who are committed to transforming their personal leadership styles. She has successfully transferred her skills to work with entrepreneurs, other business owners, family owned business leadership, and non-profit executives and their organizations. She created Results-Focused Leadership Development, an intensive, creative and empowering process that influences and inspires client to fully develop their leadership potential while supporting their company’s mission and goals. Her passions are inspiring the success of family business members, entrepreneurs and therapists and other professionals in transition. Her www domain name,, is an expression of her belief that, “Our work can bring us joy as well as financial rewards.” Yes, that’s what she means -- real joy, enough to make your heart dance.
Contact info: HeartDance, Cincinnati, Ohio USA, 513-474-1137, 1-800-882-9383;
Web Site:
You may find it's too expensive, too energy-requiring, or simply not time- efficient for where you are now in your life vs where you may have been even two or three weeks ago. You are growing and evolving. As you do, you will find easier and more fulfilling ways to meet Needs. Once met even up to 60%, Needs will then support you in setting new boundaries or more productive goals. When a recurring Need again requires your attention, you can trust it to remind you.

Needs are not optional -- they require being met. When you are doing this insufficiently, a Need will begin to drive you to manipulate others, your circumstances or environment, or even yourself. If you find yourself doing or saying things unlike the real you -- things maybe that embarrass you a little -- pay attention! That's a Need busy at work trying to get itself met in an inappropriate way for you.

STOP, analyze what it is you really need or want, and develop a better plan for arranging this. Then you will be able to be proud of how you take care of yourself and you won't need these behaviors that don't work for you.


Issue #5: Live Your Values - Part Two

Back to the Top / Go to TABLE OF CONTENTS

Text © Diane Menendez & Sherry Lowry, 1998, 1999. Part of the original Sideroad.
The new Sideroad is now receiving traffic at