The SeamLess Life

Tip #7 - August 10, 1998

About the Author:

Sherry Lowry is a Austin-based business coach who works nationally and internationally with executives, managers, business owners, other coaches, psychologists and therapists. She brings experience to her clients as a founder and developer of 7 businesses, including one non-profit organization, as a consultant and trainer, and professional mentor. Co-leading group telecalls (via regular telephone connection) and telegroup series is a speciality....with other field experts on corporate marketing, using public speaking as a marketing tool, marketing with heart, and offers with Diane Menendez special teleclasses for mental health professionals transitioning as coaches. In 1996, Sherry founded and continues to host The Coaches’ Showcase, a free theme-based telegroup exchange with some of the industry’s most experienced coaches. Also useful is her online collection of The Lowry Notes - free to the public at her WWW site. She holds two traditional graduate degrees and has completed the Coach University curriculum. She is on the Board of International Coach Federation and is a member of Professional Coaches’ and Mentor’s Association and Texas Executive Women.

Contact info:
Sherry Lowry, MCC
Austin, Texas, USA
Ph: 512-527-0097
Web site:


Tip #7 in Leading the Seamless Life™
It's YOU That Counts - Not 'The Stuff'

This tip is actually a series of ideas of value gleaned from our own histories and also from an interesting author who is an expert on stress and happiness.

One of the most important things one of us has learned to date in life came in an "Eureka moment" experienced in 1990.

The Learning: "You can be happy or you can be right. You probably cannot be both."

This lightning bolt found home in a life-changing way when one of us was technically and politically CORRECT during a business decision process. The problem was this was also creating misery for everyone involved.

The Set-Up and the Question: If you are unhappy, where is it you are trying to be RIGHT?
If you will go and look there then decide the cost, you may find it's not worth being unhappy to have 'your way' with this.

The Underlying Rationale: Why is this?
It's pretty logical but most of the time you may not think about it like this. Even when you are C.O.R.R.E.C.T. -- that is usually so because you are in the process of making someone else W.R.O.N.G.

Do you insist that RIGHT rules? If so, our guess is it's most often because you're sweating the wrong stuff -- which also maybe is the small stuff. That brings us to the work of Richard Carlson, Ph.D. One of his new books is "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff -- and it's all small stuff." The byline: simple ways to keep the little things from taking over your life (© 1997, Hyperion).

While it's not that simple to create a "true course" and simple life, as you know if you're following this series, the best guarantee you'll know the SMALLest stuff when it shows up is to know your own Vision, Purpose, and Mission.

Until then, here are tips from Dr. Carlson:

  • Notice the very next time sweating ANY stuff is having you completely lose touch with the magic and beauty of your life. Ask instead if you have the energy to be kinder and gentler, right then.

  • There are high achievers who also have inner peace -- who are less distracted by their wants, needs, desires, and concerns. Consequently, it's easier for them to concentrate, focus, achieve goals, and give back to others.

  • Notice how uptight you feel when you're caught up in your own negative and insecure thinking. It can spiral you out of control as one thought leads toanother until, at some point, you become incredibly agitated.

  • Interrupting others and finishing their sentences is not only a destructive habit that keeps you from receiving love and respect, it also takes a tremendous amount of energy for you to be in two heads at once. @(* *)@ @(**)@

  • About the Author:

    Diane Menendez, Ph.D., is a business and personal success coach. She has been coaching since 1983 when she began the High Performance Coaching process as an internal staff coach at AT&T. Since 1988 she has coached more than 250 business executives in Fortune 100 companies and has provided leadership for company-wide efforts in executive and leadership development. Menendez’s special niche in executive coaching is providing support to leaders of rapidly changing industries who are committed to transforming their personal leadership styles. She has successfully transferred her skills to work with entrepreneurs, other business owners, family owned business leadership, and non-profit executives and their organizations. She created Results-Focused Leadership Development, an intensive, creative and empowering process that influences and inspires client to fully develop their leadership potential while supporting their company’s mission and goals. Her passions are inspiring the success of family business members, entrepreneurs and therapists and other professionals in transition. Her www domain name,, is an expression of her belief that, “Our work can bring us joy as well as financial rewards.” Yes, that’s what she means -- real joy, enough to make your heart dance.
    Contact info: HeartDance, Cincinnati, Ohio USA, 513-474-1137, 1-800-882-9383;
    Web Site:

    The Main Tip:

    It's worth what it takes to gain clarity on your own life path and who and what you want in it and on it with you -- so you can know for sure it's ALL small stuff and it's YOU and the others that really count -- not the stuff.

    Coming Attractions!

    August 17: a special feature entitled The Path in Reverse
    in the spirit of living life "in reverse" we'll compile previous tips in a printer friendly edition.

    August 24: back to the regular bi-weekly series

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    Text © Diane Menendez & Sherry Lowry, 1998, 1999. Part of the original Sideroad.
    The new Sideroad is now receiving traffic at