According to the United States system of justice, it is now perfectly alright to
choke your boss and threaten to kill him in cold blood. Of course, this may only
apply to people making $87 million every second of every day.
If you don't know what I'm talking about, Latrell Spreewell of the Golden State
Warriors in the NBA got an independent judge to reduce his initial one-year
suspension from the NBA by about five months and had his multi-million dollar
contract reinstated by the league. Come July 1, 1998, Spreewell will officially be a
paid employee of the Golden State Warriors.
Of course, the team will trade him as
soon as they are able, however, this whole situation just seems unsettling. As I
said before, it is now acceptable to beat your boss up in the NBA. Of course, the
NBA is one of the only institutions where the employees make more money than
the bosses, but a dangerous precedent has been set.
The NBA is going through a severe identity crisis as of late. They are soon going to
have the greatest player in the history of Humanity, Michael Jordan, take a seat for
good, which will create a serious drop in interest in the league. If you listen closely you'll
actually be able to hear the screams of the NBA TV ratings as they fall.
There also appears to be a thug mentality
entering the league where players are out to prove they're the "baddest" thing
around. It's almost like what hockey went through years ago; you always had one guy
on the team whose job it was to start a fight.
Teamwork seems to be a thing of the past and marijuana use is on the rise among
the players. Interestingly, the NBA doesn't have a policy against smoking weed
thanks to the ever so powerful players' union which won't allow the league to test
for doobies. It's against the law in the rest of American society, but OK in the NBA.
The current system in place in the NBA says a player can get high before a game,
beat the hell out of his coach and then demand millions of dollars for his services.
Call my agent; I need a job like this!
Furthermore, with the NBA completely crumbling under its own public relations
disasters, the league is not just allowing, but encouraging teeny-boppers to forget
about college and go straight into the league.
It's like sending a juvenile
delinquent to Alcatraz. How the NBA is going to protect the 17 and 18 year-olds
from the locker room goons ready to fork over a hand-full of prostitutes and free
quarter-bags for life so they'll wear some name brand shoes is a problem the league
will need to confront in the near future, but will more than likely ignore.
I'm already negotiating for my "Air Loyd's" right now.
