Tonja Weimer

Article Summary:

What might be stopping you from finding your soul mate?

Where Is My Soul Mate?

Do you worry that you will never date someone wonderful? Do you think love has passed you by? Do you long for a great relationship with your soul mate? When it comes to finding love, do you feel that you are too old or too young; too fat or too thin; too sharp or too dull? Are you just “too” something and that “something” is keeping you from having what you want?

If you say yes to any of the above questions…you are not alone. Many people feel there is some obstacle blocking their chances to finding their soul mate.

Whenever I am confronted with what seems like a hopeless situation, I remember how my mother decided to become a rodeo rider at the age of 50. She was terrified of horses, was a terrible rider, and had advancing arthritis. However, since my father, sister, and brother were all rodeo champions, she said she was tired of being left out.

Her arthritis worsened, she never was a very good rider, but she just quietly hung in there. She got up every morning at five a.m. to ride her horse and rode again at night when she finished working. She went to rodeos and jackpot races every weekend. By the age of 65, she was starting to win. At the age of 83, she was the oldest professional rodeo rider on the circuit. The minute she rode into the arena, she brought crowds to their feet in a roar of admiration. They loved her. Why? Because she would never give up.

Being single is a lot like that story. You have to make up your mind that you are going to do something (set a goal) and then put everything you have into accomplishing it. There will always be obstacles to what you want.

There are, however, warnings about who will prevail over those obstacles and who will not. There are seven warning signs that you will never meet someone, fall in love, and live happily ever after with your soul mate. When you know what the warning signs are, you can DO something about them so you can have who and what you want.

This is how you spell W.A.R.N.I.N.G.

W is for waiting.
Waiting for Mr. Right or Miss Wonderful to knock on your door and sweep you away to a life of bliss isn’t going to happen. Waiting for the right job, or to lose weight, or to get a new house or car, or even for the holidays to begin isn’t going to get you any closer to love either. It is only through taking action to get out and meet people that you are going to move closer to your goal.

A is for assumptions.
As a single, it is easy to make false assumptions. You may think that all of your friends know that you want to date and that they would introduce you to someone. But that usually doesn’t happen because first, people get busy with their own lives, and second, they often would not be presumptious enough to bring you someone to date. You have to ask. Turn your friends and family members into scouts. Tell everyone that you would like to meet someone wonderful.

R is for running away.
Many people want to meet someone because they want to run away from the life they have. This consciousness about life will never bring you the one you want. Do everything in your power to make your life fabulous so you can attract fabulous.

N stands for “No,” as in saying no to what doesn’t work for you.
The word “no” keeps people, activities, and places that are toxic to your system out of your world. It’s hard to attract someone wonderful if you are full of poison.

I stands for Isolated.
Becoming isolated is a danger for all singles. You need a network of support systems for your health, happiness, and ability to meet others. Guard against isolation.

N is for negative.
No one wants to be around negativity. Ask your friends or coworkers how you come across. If you appear negative to others, go to counseling or find a coach and improve your attitude.

G is for growth.
Personal growth and insight keep you from getting stuck in a rut. Learning and growing also makes you very attractive. Seek to know yourself. You want to become the person you are looking for. This is how you attract whom you want.

Heed these warning signs. If you recognize any of the above in yourself, change your course. It is never too late or too hopeless or too anything to find the love of your life. Don’t give up. Someone waits for you.

Tonja Weimer M.A., is a Master Certified Singles Coach from the Relationship Coaching Institute, and a Certified Coach from the International Coaching Federation. She specializes in helping single adults with career, relationship, and dating issues and has an extrordinary success rate. A syndicated newspaper columnist,her weekly column “Savvy Dating” is read in the US by some 2 million readers. For more information, visit

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