Lesley Cordero

Article Summary:

What is the root of most communication problems, and what can you do to solve future communication mix-ups?

Solving Communication Problems

My friend Delia is the owner of a small private school. This spring her school is experiencing the crunch of reduced enrolment for next September and all staff have been asked to take a six percent salary decrease. One staff member, much to Delia's horror, outright refused and resigned her teaching position at the school. Delia pleaded with her, telling her how valuable a teacher she was, how parents had come to count on her expertise, and essentially the school couldn't operate without her. The next day she had reconsidered and told Delia that it was because of what Delia had said about how valuable she was to the school.

Delia was flabbergasted! She thinks that she pampers her staff with manicures, their birthday off, flowers or wine regularly, and dinners out. Did this staff member not see all of these treats as being rewards for being valuable to the success of the school? Guess not!

We take in and store information using the following three main representational systems:

Visual - seeing

Auditory - hearing

Kinesthetic - feeling/touching/moving

We receive our information from the outside world in primarily pictures, sounds and feelings. We tend to have a dominant preference; we either prefer to receive our information from the world in one of three ways:

  • Visually, either externally or internally in our `minds eye' as an image


  • From something we hear, either externally or from our inner voice


  • Kinesthetically, from touch or feelings

Even though we experience the world using all three representations we generally favor one, use another as a secondary preference and the third usually trails far behind.

To quote Paul Newman, in the movie Cool Hand Luke, "What we have here is a failure to communicate". This failure to communicate has been created by crossing `representational systems'. The teacher in question receives her information in an auditory manner. Delia, on the other hand, receives her information visually, or `show me, `give me things, `let me see you do something'. Delia has been showing her staff how valuable they are, where this staff member needed to hear it.

When you can figure out other people's representational systems or what sense they prefer to use when taking in information, you can communicate on their wavelength and enter their model of the world. The result is - presto, fewer communication mix-ups and instant rapport.

Lesley Cordero's mission is to significantly change people's lives by helping them to 'see things differently'. Cordero Consulting offers personal growth solutions in the form of workshops, keynote presentations, and Internet information resources. As a professional speaker, she has designed and delivered workshops, and keynote presentations to thousands of people internationally. Lesley has a background in education, is a trainer in Personality Type Indicators (True Colours, Personality Dimensions), a Master Practitioner in NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) and a Process Consultant. Subscribe to her free ezine "Deep Linking" at www.LesleyCordero.com and begin to connect with what is really important in your life. Are you ready to 'see things differently?'

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