Issue # 16 of 43
By: David LeClaire
Techniques That Work
On a day to day basis, there are many very simple and timeless things a couple can do for mini-tune-ups or pleasure enhancements in the privacy of their own home, which cost nothing, and are also quite valuable. Here are my favorite five:
1) What I Love About You
Another great gesture is to bring up some of the most enjoyable times you've shared together as a couple. Visualize the day you spent together that was one of your favorites, and picture being there again with your partner. Whether it was a celebration, a day on vacation, or just a downright steamy lovemaking session, put yourself back in that place, and then let them in on what you've been thinking about.
2) Make A Pact
If you set out a specified number of days and both stick to it, you'll be amazed at how fun it can be and how easy it really is to do. The time of day may need to vary, maybe even the location. Chances are you will have to plan when and where your next day's interlude will take place in order to see success. Try it just for fun if for no other reason. I suggest that busy couples who have challenging lifestyles and schedules do this a couple times a year just for a good solid dose of lovin'!
3) Yellow Light
This allows the person who is at the yellow stage to relax and calm down slightly, enabling them to resume making love without rushing into orgasm. Since it is rare that couples will have perfect timing and always have orgasms together, this technique also allows the other partner to catch up. Many times one partner is ready to have an orgasm and the other isn't. Yet after going through a yellow or two, both people may find they are both ready to have an orgasm and can then enjoy proceeding towards experiencing one together.
The key is to not wait too long before saying yellow, since there is a point of no return. Also, quite often people are afraid they'll lose the orgasm by stopping. If your partner doesn't mind using this technique, and you try it a few times together, I think you'll discover that you never lose the orgasm. Once you are at that stage, it doesn't take too much to get right back to the same point you left off at.
Since many couples don't have sex with a lot of frequency, when they are making love, why not extend it and make it last? Achieving orgasms are not the sole purpose of sex, but certainly a nice part of it. Why rush through it? When one person says, yellow, they are saying, "don't move, I want this moment with you to last longer." It's then time to breathe, hold on to each other, laugh, or run your fingers through your partner's hair. When your partner says it's safe to proceed, do so slowly and with caution. Most importantly, have fun!
4) The Twenty Second Kiss
The length of this kiss makes it special. You don't have to reserve the twenty second kiss for the bedroom. It can be perfect before your partner is leaving to go somewhere, upon their arrival at home, or at any other time. Just ask for it by name, "honey, I want a 20 second kiss, please." How can one's partner say no? I do recommend however, that you never ask for a twenty second kiss after eating gorgonzola cheese or Oreo cookies.
5) The Sixty Second Hug
Building Bridges Table of Contents
Text © 1998, David LeClaire. Part of the original Sideroad.
More expert advice available at www.sideroad.com.